How To Be A Player in 2026

The most important part of logistics is where you live. This is where the adventure leads and the better your set up, the easier it will be to get her there.

Let’s talk about how to set up your apartment or home for maximum effectiveness.

Live alone or have a roommate down with the lifestyle.

If you can afford to, live alone. The next best thing is a single roommate who either goes out with you, lives the same lifestyle, or at least understands and doesn’t care. This person should be fairly clean and also make for good company.

Alcohol

Ah, we wish it wasn’t so important but when the bars are closed and you don’t have any booze at home that can be a major dealbreaker. Even if you don’t drink, make sure you’re stocked up with a catch-all offering. Beer, vodka, rum, gin, ice, and mixers, and you’ll have something for everyone. Even if you have a 24-hour place nearby it’s best to have something at home.

Entertainment

Be a little careful with entertainment, don’t choose an activity so interesting and non-interactive that it prevents a hookup entirely like that one time I had a girl over to watch Django Unchained, no sex was had. But it’s a great move to have a selection of options available. You might find yourself entertaining a group of your friends or hers which creates situations that might not have otherwise been possible.

Here’s a list of ideas for you to consider:

Party games, video games, a big TV, Hookah, drugs, a fire pit, a guitar, RGB lighting, pets, food, a nice view, video games, cards against humanity, board games, beer pong, foosball, darts, patio, cocktail mixing set, art, movies, Roku, plants, ice cream, special cheese, phone chargers, hot tub/pool, movie projector, vinyl records, air conditioning, coffee & tea, costumes and onesies, karaoke, a camera, BBQ, home bar, pool table, sports equipment, spare room with bed or a couch her friend can sleep on.

All of these are just reasons to get people back to your pad whether it’s the girl you want or a group of people. Choose activities that allow you to continue connecting with her.

Before you go out:

Make sure your place is clean and presentable, have drinks stocked, condoms ready and stashed in convenient places, make your bed, and take out your trash. Have music ready to go maybe even playing already. Music really smooths out the social experience and sets the vibe. Set up dimmable or indirect lighting to create an inviting atmosphere.

Her logistics

You should be screening for her logistics early and often.

Is she with friends? Did she come with them? Where does she live? When does she work? Does she have her own place? Roommates? Does she have a car? Is she single? Does she usually stay up late? What is she doing tomorrow? When is she usually available?

From the moment you meet a girl, you should be peppering in these types of questions to find out if she is emotionally and physically available. She might only be in town for one night and have an early flight the next day. You need to know if it’s worth your time to pursue the interaction.

Players are very efficient with this and will begin to screen quickly. You’re looking for an alignment of your availability and hers but also her openness to what you’re looking for. You might find out she is not your type, she was just broken up with, or she has a kid at home. Any number of things could mean no matter how good your connection is she might not be available for you and you might not be for her.

Go Out And Meet Lots Of Women

The answer to all your problems.

The key to getting laid is putting yourself in situations where it’s possible and making the time for it without excuses. Build a social life by design and give yourself more chances to approach, even being in these situations without approaching will fire you up as you let opportunities pass you by, so get out there.

Walk around on the weekends in crowed places, go out to the bars and clubs, make single friends that also like to go out. Join social clubs and hobby groups where you’re always able to meet new girls. Spend time in the environments where the girls you want are.

Draw water from all sources and get yourself on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge and get yourself some good photos and a good bio. (Don’t let this stop you from going out though)

This is a game of momentum.

The more you go out and get rejected the less resistance you’ll have to taking action. As you take more action you’ll acquire new information. (Side note: You learn better when you’re sober). The more diligently you process that information through field reports and recounting your experiences with your buddies the more useful that information will be.

If you’re going out all the time you’ll be able to test out new behaviors at a faster rate. The theories you develop about what works with women will become based on actual experiences, enabling a grounded, tested, approach.

Your success will begin to fuel itself. As you start getting dates and lays you’ll become less needy for any one woman enabling you to become that much more attractive in each interaction. You’ll acquire an ever-present confidence in the experience you are offering and you’ll want to share it with even more women.

This level of abundance can’t be faked.

When you have it, you will sub-communicate all the right signals effortlessly. You won’t have to care or worry about the timing of your texting or saying the right thing in the right way. It all just works because you truly couldn’t be needy if you tried.

You’ll notice yourself approaching hotter women, being more choosy, more challenging, more playful.

So, you need the skill of approaching and doing it in a way that allows you to maximally improve. Let’s cover the basics. In this article I’ll mostly be talking about making approaches during the day.

Mentality – Inner Game

1. You are approaching to create an opportunity for a connection.

2. You are the buyer, not the seller.

3. You are there to make your interest in her known and to share your story.

4. You are adding a positive and exciting addition to her day.

5. You don’t get to decide for her if she wants to meet you. If you are wondering, you must go find out.

6. Most women are friendly and appreciate positive and respectful interest.

7. Rejection isn’t personal – It’s just information.

8. Success is measured in the action you take, not the outcome.

9. Resistance is your compass for action.

10. You’ll never regret going out.

11. Leave her better than you found her.

The Approach – Outer Game

Seek progress not perfection. Perfect practice makes perfect but seeking perfection is not sustainable.

They key to learning this fast is to create a process that prioritizes action and makes it easy. When you’re at home you can watch all the YouTube and infield footage you want but when you’re out, mentally turn all that off. 

When starting out your goal isn’t to get a number or a date, it’s to make an honest approach whether direct or indirect.

Opening

Indirect approaches are a great way to start out because you just need to know you’re not going to get your head bit off talking to a girl. What do those look like?

An indirect approach is a conversation with a girl that begins with any topic that doesn’t reveal your interest in her from the beginning. For a beginner this is asking a girl for the time, directions, it’s asking her if she goes to your school, if she approves of your new shirt. It accomplishes you learning the mechanics of getting her attention and starting a conversation.

Just because the conversation starts indirect doesn’t mean you can’t communicate your interest with eye contact, posture, and vocal tonality.

Going indirect is especially effective when screening for interest and logistics. It affords you more time to connect and feel out the situation with less pressure.

Remember, there are no rules and you can express your genuine interest at any time. Usually beginners will start with a few indirect canned openers, phrases they repeat all the time to start conversations.

Try to notice when you’re getting too comfortable. Your goal should be to look for opportunities to push your comfort level whether that’s telling her your opener was actually just an excuse to talk to her, or keeping the conversation going longer than you are used to by introducing new topics. When in doubt, share your story, let her know what you’re up to and take a genuine interest in her. Assume attraction.

Taking action is the highest priority in the beginning so it’s okay to use the same few openers for a while. The opener just needs to do its job. If you’re able to make the approach and get into conversation you’re in a good place. 

Once you’re starting to approach and open consistently you might start wondering if there’s better opening lines you could be using. There probably are but instead of seeking better canned lines I recommend developing self reliance early by trusting yourself to open with whatever comes to mind. The reason going off script is beneficial is because you’re trying to create a real connection. Even if you’re not as smooth as a line you’ve practiced a hundred times the genuine honest intent will come through much better and is much more important than anything being said.

Treat canned indirect openers as fall backs. There’s no rules to this game so while it’s important to self-generate, you won’t always have access to that inner creative muse. Get comfortable with a few simple openers you can deliver smoothly and use them when you feel like it.

The approach itself doesn’t matter it’s just the starting point. We have little rules like the 3 second rule, you see the girl, you count to 3 and go without further thought. You allow yourself to fumble on purpose. Accept fully that you are a beginner and trust in the process.

Direct game is expressing interest in her from the beginning and it’s my personal favorite way to run game. In my view, it’s more honest because you’re not approaching her to chat about the weather. Especially as a beginner, the initial fear is expressing your interest in her and opening yourself up to a rejection. 

So when I say honest approach I mean putting your true thoughts, interests, and intentions on the line for her to respond to. As soon as you’re able to I recommend you start with direct openers. You can keep them simple with a quick compliment then roll into a genuine get to know you conversation, share your story, screening for logistics. 

Here’s some of my go-to lines :

• “Excuse me… (eye contact, stop walking), do you mind mind if I introduce myself? (Handshake), my name’s Cavalier, what’s your name?”
• “Hey! (eye contact, slow down to a stop), I’m sorry I have to stop you, you’re absolutely gorgeous, what is your name?”
• “Excuse me, my name’s Cavalier, mind if I flirt with you for a minute?”

Social Awareness 

Before we continue I need to preach to you about the importance of developing social awareness. This absolutely critical point and will make the difference between your approach being perceived as threatening or a welcomed experience.

You need to develop an awareness of her and respond appropriately without letting your ego get in the way. I’ve seen guys go out for years doing the same terrible approach, cornering girls, broaching their space and without any improvement in this awareness. You must make the choice to pay attention to this or you can get worse as you become more confident.

This awareness is super important and as you grow it you’ll be an overall better conversationalist. Girls will feel understood and safe when you’re able to demonstrate that you are paying attention to their experience. In general you want to be creating a shared experience and developing trust and rapport.

 Don’t give her any reason to think you wouldn’t let her go.

Look at her body language. Is she moving away from you, does she look scared? Take the pressure off, back up, don’t corner her, don’t block her, don’t grab her.

How to avoid being creepy:

• Mirror her body language initially, if she’s creating space from you don’t fill it, if she leans back or turns away, stand still or also take a step back.
•  Always give her a physical way out and pay attention to the surroundings, if you’re in a busy intersection walk with her and try and stop in a safe place.

• “Don’t let me stop you” (From Alex Social’s teachings) – If she looks in a hurry or wants to get going always let her go without any attempt to stop her, if she wants to stay she will, if you’re in a club you can approach again later.

• Acknowledge you are interrupting what she’s doing – Let her know from the beginning something like “Hi sorry to interrupt your lunch, mind if I say hello for a second?”

• Time constraint openers – “Hey I’m on my way to meet a friend/I have to pickup my order/I only have a minute”

After The Open 

When the conversation is underway you’ll carry the initial burden of the conversation but it should shift to her doing more of the talking. Bring her into your world by sharing your story, talk about what you’re doing and what you’re about. Challenge and tease her with your questions and keep the conversation light and playful.

Understand that while it’s your job to say things that clearly communicate your interest in her, your body language, physicality, eye contact, and vocal tonality are going to do the heavy lifting.

You’ve already approached, she knows why you are there. You just need to demonstrate that you aren’t afraid to escalate the conversation and hold the tension. The conversation is what you make of it. You can be as expressive or mysterious as you want. You can be intense and direct or highly self amused.

Notice when your intention shifts and trust your instincts. Don’t just keep a conversation going if you’d rather take her on a date. More often than not newbies eject themselves too early or go for a number too fast from fear of ruining a good thing. As I’ve learned from RSD: Play to win, not to not lose.

Depending on logistics and personal interest if a conversation is going well you can create another opportunity. Grab the number, definitely grab her Instagram and set an expectation for what happens next. My personal preference is setting up a specific date right then and there, grabbing Instagram and then I’ll message something pretty shortly after parting ways. I don’t like texting very much so I’ll follow up a few days before the date to line things up.

The general framework of your interactions:

1. Approach quickly without hesitation
2. Open direct or indirect
3. Express your interest in her – compliments, flirting, direct statements
4. Share your story, take a genuine interest in her
5. Screen for logistics – Set up a date
6. Grab her number and socials or go for an instant date

Man to woman communication

One way to avoid the friendzone and nice conversations that go nowhere is to expressly say that you’re interested in her but your words are a small part of building attraction. It should be clear to her that sex is on the table and if she’s with you that you are going to continue to escalate with her verbally and physically.

I do believe you can “fake it til’ you make it”. Most of this communication is done through eye contact, body language, and vocal tonality.

With conscious efforts to implement the following behaviors you can appear to her that you are unafraid and unapologetic for your intentions with her, signaling social abundance with women. While initially forced, these behaviors will become second nature to you as you gain positive feedback which reinforces them. 

Let’s get into it.

Eye Contact

Notice how making eye contact creates tension. An abundant man is comfortable holding that tension and remains in control of when he releases it. Strong eye contact commands attention and is a very clear signal that you are not afraid.

The easiest way to get started is to practice eye contact as you go about your day, look everyone in the eyes. Notice the tension and how it feels and how depending on your mood somedays you’ll find this hard and others it’s easy.

Smiling with the eyes, a gentle squint, a very slight smirk, and a relaxed face you’ll be able to look at most anyone without coming across as overly challenging or threatening.

Practice your eye contact in the mirror with yourself paying attention to how you are coming across. Go out, look at everyone, then when you find yourself in set, opt for more eye contact than you are used to.

Body Language

Entire books have been written about this but I’ll keep it simple. A confident, dominant man will stand up straight or lean back or to one side. Pull your shoulders back, focus on good posture. Keep your chin behind your belt. Try mimicking a popular alpha male movie personality. Hold your head high. Pay attention to how you move. Make intentional movements. Slow and Relaxed. 

A player does what he wants but what matters is that he doesn’t hesitate and moves on his own terms.

Relax your arms and hands to your sides, don’t fidget. You can loop your thumbs in your front or back pockets. To appear socially open to conversation your posture has to be open. Don’t cross your arms or legs, widen your stance a bit more than usual. Generally take up your space, arms out wide on the couch, assuming the most relaxed position in any situation.

Practice in the mirror and have a buddy watch you or record your approach.

As long as you are in control you can talk with your hands and do what you want, but initially, really try to slow down and practice full body relaxation at all times. Keep your hands off your head and out of your pockets.

You are leaning back to give her space to lean in. This body language reinforces the buyer mentality.

Vocal Tonality

I can tell you from my own experiences a lot of the approach nervousness comes from not being confident about the delivery of your opener. When you’re nervous your voice becomes stifled, restricted and quiet. Most guys are not loud enough. If a girl ever says “What?” and you have to repeat yourself you were not loud enough so make the correction.

Your diaphragm is a muscle at the base of your lungs. In order to “say it with your chest” practice expanding your stomach and chest when you breathe in then contract your lower chest when you speak. You’re looking for resonance and bass in your speech while pushing air out to speak efficiently.

Relax your neck muscles, pan your head left to right releasing tension. Hold your head in a natural upright position. Your voice is an instrument and it can be “played” more efficiently, if you’re going out regularly you should develop a practice for this so that your delivery is clear, resonate, and allows you to maintain a relaxed posture. You can practice deepening your voice by humming with your mouth open as you use your diaphragm to breathe out.

End your sentences in a downward inflection. Imagine a general giving a command or a father scolding a child to convey seriousness. Speak as if talking to an old friend. What we’re signaling here is that we have conviction to what we’re saying, we’re not looking for approval or permission. Avoid upward inflection where the pitch of your words get higher at the end.

Physical Touch

Physical contact should start incidentally, meaning it’s an organic and subtle part of your interaction. I’m usually introducing a handshake or hug pretty quickly in the interaction. The longer you wait to initiate physicality the more pressure it puts on you. From her perspective it can appear out of character if you’re making big leaps all at once. Physicality should be a normal part of your interaction.

If touching isn’t natural to you it should be specifically worked on as it’s a critical part of man to woman communication. Touch should accompany conversation. It’s little shoulder taps, light pulls and pushes, a hand on the small of the back to guide her.

It’s holding her hand while inspecting her nails/jewelry. Sitting next to her with your legs touching. Her response to your touch might be subtle or neutral but if she’s remaining close to you and follows your lead you’re fine.

Understand that touch means something different to every woman.

For some women physicality is completely normal and unless it’s overtly sexual is an afterthought. For others it’s incredibly meaningful and for her touch is a significant level of commitment to a man. So as you work on this you should equally notice how she is responding because her response to touch is part of your screening efforts to understand more about her.

Physicality goes hand in hand with leading. Take her hand when taking her in a new direction, guide her to switch sides with you so that you’re the one walking closer to the street. Try offering your arm for her to hold while walking.

She wants to be led and if she likes you she wants you to physically escalate because it also gives her information about you. It’s showing her you’re not afraid to lead her, it’s showing her that if she goes to bed with you she’s in for a controlled, satisfying experience.

You’re signaling the future experience and acting through your own intentions. We want to experience her physically so we start light, we find excuses and little games to physically play with her, we show her that this is normal and she can expect more of this.

When touch is rejected, if she pulls away, gives you a back-pat half hug, turns her head, how do you handle that?

If you’re going out it’s going to happen. Your response to her physical rejection is key because it can help you or hurt you. Does it affect you? Does it throw you off your game? How would a man with 20 options that night react?

It’s not so serious that you need to storm off or call her out. You also know that she’s still out with you. She’s just not receptive to that form of touch in this moment but she could be later. It takes experience to know the difference between “not right now” and “not ever”.

Traditional wisdom is thinking of escalation as a ladder, coming down a few steps and trying to climb later but, unless you’re very confident, there’s rarely a need to jump to the end. Without verbal ques this process is dynamic, it’s not always linear because what it means to her and what it means to you is not the same.

This is an explorative process and don’t be mistaken, you should be escalating but you’re not trying to “get away” with anything. If you think you went too far, verbally acknowledge it or just ask her if she’s okay with what you’re doing. If you think you’re going to ruin your chances with a girl just because you asked for consent you’re coming from a place of scarcity. Whether you’re the shit, you’re a cool high value guy, or even a nervous newbie it shows true character to check in with her.

Making a girl feel safe and respected in your company is high value behavior. Remember that you are resourceful. Surely you can think of a smooth way to ask if she wants the touch you’re offering.

When it comes to touch it’s especially important to remember this is a collaborative dance. It’s you and her together, you want a girl that wants you.

So start small and go for it. Push your own boundaries of comfort, remain observant, and be willing to take the pressure off. Be willing to try again later.

When and how to go for a kiss/make out

Kissing a girl for the first time is one of the best experiences this world has to offer. In a single moment a whole new level of connection between strangers takes place. It’s a release from the unspoken tension that has been building. You are the artist. You are the master of tension and anticipation. Well before you kiss a girl the possibility should have crossed her mind but it’s an open question. 

There’s not always a perfect moment but, if you’ve done your job until now, you’ve signaled to her your willingness to be physical with her and she’s signaled her interest in you. Her eye contact is prolonged, she’s standing close to you, she’s smiling, maybe she’s already touching you.

A thought will cross your mind, “I should probably kiss her”, and that is your sign, you should go for it.

If you’re doing the talking try slowing down, making strong eye contact, let your words trail off to silence with a slight smile. Let the tension linger for a moment if you’d like. A gentle pull on her waist, you lean in, looking at her lips, deliberately tilting your head slightly and moving in, giving her time to match you. You let her come to you slightly and your lips meet.

From there it’s your show you can just keep making out but you might want to keep the tension going, the final anticipation for her is what will take place in the bedroom. Maybe you stop the make out after a few moments, take her hand and keep walking to your destination leaving her buzzing, wondering what will happen next.

How to be good in bed

With a high enough social status you can be terrible in bed and girls will stick around but don’t be that guy.

Have girls begging to come over knowing they’ll know they’ll get that multi-orgasmic, spiritual-awakening sex that makes them forget about the cold world for a while.

If you’re not there yet read up, no shame in that. When I was starting out I actually read a few books that helped me out massively. I recommend “Sex God Method” by Daniel Rose and “She Comes First” by Ian Kerner.

What I’ve learned from these books is that the mind is the greatest sexual organ.

Foreplay is everything before sex. It’s the tension, the excitement, the push-pull. You should be turning her on from the moment you meet her. It’s also about a focus on her experience, learning to listen to her body and her response to touch.

A guy who’s good in bed is a good communicator, he learns exactly what she likes and how she likes it. He tells her what he likes and he leads her. He knows good sex is an immersive experience that requires a variety of positions, emotions, and pacing. It’s also about being present to the moment, you are shutting out the world and taking your time. It can be playful, challenging, or teasing. 

Educate yourself, listen to her, ask her what she likes, explore each other and communicate.

You’re going to meet many women and you’ll realize it’s not all on you.

Some women will inspire your lust, they’ll bring the best out of you. Sexual chemistry is a real thing and from personal experience I’ve found that with some women, regardless of how attracted I am, we just don’t have it. I’ve learned not to beat myself up because it takes an abundance of experiences to find a few girls that you really connect emotionally and physically with.

Once in a while you’ll meet a girl that is willing to do anything and god bless her because she’ll do the most for your experience. Those girls are out there you just have to find them.

How To Always Be On

There are three keys to becoming a guy who is always willing to approach and task social risks:

Intent, irreverence, and fun above all else.

Intent

Intent is why you are approaching her it’s the compulsory feeling that drives you. It’s an unspoken motivation more than a conscious desired outcome. Your intent could be one of many feelings such as a duty to your goals, avoidance of failure, lust, amusement, or curiosity. What you want is an alignment of your feelings (Intent), thoughts, and actions so that when you make an approach you are communicating one thing very clearly with your body language and the delivery of your speech regardless of the topic.

Intent is important because it’s so hard to fake and therefore not sustainable if you’re constantly fighting yourself. You’re going to say one thing and project another.

Intent is cultivated well prior to an interaction, it’s the mental state of your day, your week. It’s your biology and your desire to fuck. It’s dependent on how social you’ve been, what you have been thinking about lately. It’s correlated to the momentum of your actions.

So what intent do we want, if we want to be a player?

We want to cultivate genuine curiosity and lust. It’s so much easier to talk to women when you’re aligned on that primitive level.

What can you do?

Quit jerking off for a couple of weeks. Lift heavy weights and eat protein. Go out and talk to girls and get those close experiences, put yourself in situations where you can become aroused by women. When you have sex it seems to have this opposite effect of masturbation, it motivates you very strongly for more and it fuels the purity of your desire to have it again.

Embrace the dark side of yourself for a while, let go of trying to be a good boy and leverage these very fundamental reward feelings of hunting and conquering. Once your peace has been made with your desires you’ll begin to look at every woman as a potential option to you and sex is always on the table.

Your intent to fuck becomes naturally communicated with your body language, eye contact, and voice. It feels very good to talk to girls when you are horny.

You’ll become more efficient, more honest, and more effective. The girls will pick up exactly what you’re about, even if you’re chatting about something trivial.

This is exactly what you want.

You’ll waste less time on girls you don’t want because your intent is clear from the get go.

So think about why you want to talk to her and how she fits into your world. Walk through the world and see women as options for you, not the other way around. There’s a significant state shift when you ask: “Which girl do I want? vs Which girl can I talk to? “

Irreverence

The balancing force to outcome dependence is irreverence: Simply not caring about something people take seriously, a cavalier attitude if you will . Don’t take yourself or her too seriously, embrace the moment and all of the absurdity.

To the player, pickup is simply an exploration of what’s possible. Truly a game.

This doesn’t mean you have to be apathetic towards people, you genuinely should care about the process, however, your sense of self and motivation is not swayed by the highs and lows of interactions with women.

You remain calm and relaxed in all situations and you never get caught up thinking any one girl is “special”. Don’t get me wrong you’re going to meet extraordinary women but when you’re coming from this place of relaxed abundance you’ll get to enjoy her for who she really is rather than your idealistic projections onto her.

As a newbie you’re going to be a leaf in the wind for a while. Going out will be an intense experience if you’re properly pushing yourself. Every approach an adrenaline dump and every insult and rejection a personal blow to your fragile ego.

I can tell you that you should let go of the outcomes, that you should relax but you’ll see for yourself there’s a limited amount of control you have here. Emotional attachment to the process is something that’s sort of beaten out of you over time.

It gets easier to regulate your emotions with experience because you realize that the results you get with women is not where your value comes from.

A thousand conversations later and you’ll find yourself in a very different place.

You’ll have gained a sense of self respect based on your own actions rather than your outcomes. You will have developed the skill of creating and offering value to others rather than taking it. You’ll understand that rejection is rarely personal. Your reliance on praise becomes tempered as well and you remain unbothered by insults or offense taken.

This frame of mind is necessary to be in this game for the long run. A single interaction can only be so dramatic in the grand scheme things. You need a sustainable mental framework which is why you’ll chill out after a while.

The skill of inner game is necessary to find a balance between irreverence and apathy. You don’t want to become hateful of yourself or others.

Be careful and be mindful of how your view of women and men changes.

Most people are insecure and childish and it’s so easy to judge and resent them for that. That is why we focus on the self first, to see that we come from the same place and we have the same faults.

I want you to take special note to be careful as you try and make sense of the dating world.  I see how easy it is to resent women and make them the problem to avoid fixing ourselves.

So be nice to others, de-escalate when the situation gets out of hand, try not to take it personally.

Whatever the reactions you get just understand it’s usually about the other person.

You’re not for everyone and everyone is not for you.

Fun above all else

Prioritizing fun above all else is what makes you an attractive social leader that women gravitate towards.

If you’re not fun-loving right now, by yourself, this is the first thing you need to work on. No amount of intent or skill will save you.

We might have started on this journey for bragging rights or to overcome our insecurity but that’s not what keeps us going.

We do this because it’s fun as hell.

We say crazy obnoxious shit because it makes conversation memorable, not because it’s effective. Hell, I’ve ruined many sets because I chose to say the funny thing but in the end, I’m better off.

Throw a wrench in the conversation, tell the shitty joke, sing the shitty song, do a dumb dance.

Watch comedy shows, embrace meme culture, try stand up and improv. Build a life designed to be interesting and fun. Befriend people because they make you laugh and even if you aren’t there yet that vibe will rub off on you. Wear crazy shit, do new, weird things to the point where you can’t possibly take yourself seriously.

When you’re willing to laugh at yourself you show others it’s okay to take their guard down and let loose. Understand that your ability to offer fun is a precious gift. It’s what people need. It’s what you need!

Continually put yourself in environments where fun is valued.

A few exercise you can try out with a wingman:

• Give each other a funny new name and backstory, do an approach.
• Give each other an animal to act out – The better one wins
• Approach a set, buddy approaches, pretend you’re meeting for the first time
• Pick a stranger, tell them your friend wants to meet them, introduce them to another stranger, hype them up to each other.
• Don’t get me started game – Pick a topic, buddy has to rant about that topic

How To Manage A Rotation

You can’t be a baller if you only have one girl. The poor go hungry and the rich get fed. The goal is how to be a player with a sustainable lifestyle which is largely a game of momentum built up by abundance and pre-selection.

When you’re dating several girls you’ll always have a sharp tongue and quick wits. This abundance allows you to communicate a complete lack of need with your regular girls while approaching new girls allows you to maintain your edge.

You don’t allow yourself to be complacent in one relationship, comfortable with the prospect of easy pussy you don’t have to put yourself out there to get.

This absolute storm of good sex and charm is what allows you to maintain of a rotation of girls willing to share the experience of being with you.

But how do you manage relationships with multiple women?

Let’s assume your screening isn’t perfect. You’re going find a few girls that seem down for casual fun but they’re secretly wanting more. This happens all the time and in my experience you’ll find that while most single women will say they’re happy to date and sleep around casually, their biological desire to start a family and have security and stability in their lives is valued more.

Transparency and the courage to be clear about what kind of relationship you are offering is the key difference between an ethical player and an outright fuck-boy. She’s with you because she wants to be. You’re not lying to keep her around with false promises. There’s lots of guys who don’t do this but this is how you keep the lifestyle enjoyable and sustainable which in my mind is the goal. Apparently it’s called ethical non-monogamy.

So how do you answer the question when a girl asks “So what are we?”

This is a question you answer honestly, providing them a chance to know what they are signing up for and you have to be willing to let them go.

You want girls that know the game and want to play on your team anyways.

I can’t remember where I learned this but I say something along the lines of:

• “So I really enjoy our time together (insert more specific examples of what makes the relationship unique) but I think it’s important to tell you I’m not looking for a monogamous relationship right now and I’m not offering one. If you don’t want to see me anymore I’ll understand but I’d to keep a good thing going”

It doesn’t have to be this formal but the idea is you’re telling her what to expect, encouraging the potential fun experiences you can still have while allowing her to make the choice.

A few more pressing questions you’ll get:

Her: “So what are you looking for”

Reply: “I’m really just looking to build amazing relationships and create memorable experiences. I try not to limit a relationship by drawing a box around it, I feel like creating expectation kills the potential of how good it could be”

The idea behind this reply is to get her focused on the relationship without prioritizing the label, something a lot of people seem to value more than the actual experience.

Her: “So how many girls have you slept with”

Reply: “To be honest that’s not really important to me I don’t keep track.”

This question is kind of a trap.

Now she might press and you can say something like, “a gentleman never tells” or you can go nuclear for fun and tell her your number.

While I’ve been preaching radical honestly I think this is a question it’s fair to white lie because the answer is likely to affect her confidence. Personally I think it’s not that important for her to know the number but I won’t hide that I have a descent amount of experience.

It’s really up to you but choose a response that works for you that feels congruent.

If she’s asking you it’s because she’s thinking about sex so just move on and emphasize it’s not important.

You shouldn’t care how many guys she’s been with either and if it was a lot, you reap the rewards of her experience, win win. If you’re looking for a future wife it’s understandable that this metric matters to you. I get it.

Her: “Do you do this a lot?”

Replies: “No, not really, but I’m not shy when I’m inspired”,

“Why? Am I coming across as pretty confident?”

“I could pretend to be shy If you want me to”

“Like this? Not really I’m usually doing X/I was thinking about X when I saw you”

This one is a shit-test, a good way to handle it is just have fun with it, you can reassure her that what you see in her is something unique, you can also re-frame her question.

How To Create A Social Hub

Some guys meet all their girls through cold approach and online game but most guys want a little more stability and a reliable pool of girls to game.

Creating or joining social circles has the benefit of having actual friends and meeting new girls is easier because of pre-selection, the most powerful way to attract women.

When a girl sees you have approval of the girls and guys of a group you become significantly less risky for her. Way less effort is needed to build trust and rapport.

So what’s your scene?

Are you a raver, clubber, or festival goer? What hobbies are you into and more specifically, what environments do the girls in your preferred demographic hang out in?

You want to build value in those social circles by creating and running events or taking a larger role in those scenes. You don’t have to be the dominant social leader there but we can all recognize the the social power of say a bartender or a DJ. These guys are source of value for those groups. So seek to offer value wherever you go. Participate, elevate.

You don’t need to be a rockstar just be an active participant. Get to know everyone there, let yourself be known. Volunteer to help out with group plans, come up with ideas the group would be interested in.

Surround yourself with cool guys and women

You really are the average of your five closest friends so when you’re new to dating, pay attention to the cool personalities you meet. Try to befriend guys who already have the lifestyle and vibe you want. Most of my best friends to this day are wingmen or dudes I met while going out.

They will make you better and you’ll pickup on their mentalities.

Don’t just burn bridges with hot girls that aren’t available to date because guess what, they have hot friends. You’re going to find yourself with so many girls that eventually you kind of friendzone each other. That’s okay and a cool benefit to this lifestyle. In turn, when you always have a girl around you it’s so much easier to meet people who just think you’re cool.

Bring them into your world, invite them out, show them a good time and they’ll return the favor if you’re simply offering value all the time.

If you can curb your desire to take value upfront you’ll find yourself with tenfold the fun, friends, and girls that you would otherwise.

Final Wisdom

Learning how to be a player teaches you to have a mentality of abundance in all things. This is confidence in your ability to create and seize opportunity. Your view of the world will be grounded in reality rather than wishful theories.

You’ll have taught yourself to take action in order to create abundance and through thousands of interactions with women you will no longer be blinded by scarcity. You’ll recognize when a girl is truly special because she was one of many. You’ll value her for deeper reasons than just her looks and you’ll have the social skills to keep her if you want.

Beware the pitfalls of ego.

Seek to become more open, less needy, and develop your character because that’s the biggest benefit of all.

Learn to love yourself and create your own fun. Take initiative to live a life of your own design.

Pay close attention to your motivations and keep yourself humble and you’ll come out on the other side a person that you and others can respect.

Godspeed.